The Four Agreements

One of my favorite books is a simple little volume: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.  It's an easy read. Actually, I'm not fond of its style. But its content is worth the the simplistic writing: Toltec wisdom.  Its message is that by following this code of conduct, our lives will be happier and more fulfilled.

The agreements teach concepts that are not too far from what I was taught by mother or learned in college Psychology 101...but of course here they have a metaphysical flair to them. Here are the agreements in a nutshell:

1. Be impeccable with your word:

• Speak with integrity.
• Say only what you mean.
• Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.
• Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2.  Don't take anything personally:

• Nothing others do is because of you.
• What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.
• When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

3.  Don't make assumptions:

• Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.
• Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.

4.  Always do your best:

• Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick.
• Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self abuse, and regret.

You'd think I'd have mastered them by now...I can't say I have...though I do tend to get through the crises faster by remembering them.

Comments

[susan]

This sounds like a great read, thanks, am always looking for book recommendations.

[John Roberts]

Thanks for your visits to my blog, and all your kind words and encouragement!

John

[ronbailey]

Wow, June - you don't know just how MUCH that I needed to see this today.

Thank you!

[janeywan]

Need to put this on my reading list. I need all the positive reinforcement I can get. I feel like such a drama queen these days, I hate it. I hate drama and queens especially, yes I do believe I hate myself.

[CountryDew]

Sounds like good advice. I think working at mastery counts...

[colleen]

I loved it when I read it. Can't seem to get through A New Earth. It's bogging down for me with too much cryptic talk of the ego. Got to read it slow.

[sandy kessler]

that #2 is a biggee in my world wow

[Becca]

I've seen this book many times, and was never quite sure what it was about. Thanks for encapsulating it so nicely.

I like these rules for living...they seem grounded in reality and common sense, and would likely make the world a better place if more people lived by them.

[Rob]

Seems more like mandatory reading to me for a happier meanignful life. Quite inspiring, really. But it is this statemen: "Say only what you mean" that has me a bit baffled. I tend to use sarcasm, and dry humor; by saying the opposite of what I intend to say. Much to learn.

[Bonnie Jacobs]

I like this line: "What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream." In the 1970s a friend told me that people always do what they think is good. It was such a provocative statement that I've never forgotten it, trying to reconcile that idea with the meanness I see in some people. But I've decided she's right. For example, a "mean" person is trying to do something that will make herself feel better (which is "good," isn't it?) and isn't really as concerned about YOU as about herself. Another example, a thief is trying to solve a problem in the wrong way, but it seemed like a "good" idea to him at the time. A "projection of their own reality" is easier for me to understand, I think.

Colleen, I don't think A New Earth is saying much that is new, just re-packaged. I haven't finished the book either -- and probably won't.